happy to have….not to have not

i was thinking to discover the healthy human mind, but soon i found out i dont give myself a brake to recover from wound. i did rush to recover, by stupid vigor and no sense desire. didn’t seem to be efficient at all, but keep me breathe. just like an breath exhale form the earth. this is no way to get me well; cant be healed by myself. i thought that’s a new way to go as they are the future, the only solution, my age is now a dawn. i sensed out that this is not the case, as instead…..this was the case. it was what i had found long before…..but once denied. i know i was too young to take that. but its not too late to retake it does it? thats how; i would happy to have, which is in my inventory. but not to have not.