Twisted wisdom

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it took more of determination and little of courage to have it at last undone.

for the agony lasted about some eight years, at first the eruption from gum without sign, with pain followed about half year till they fully grown; then the gaps perfect to be hideouts for particles and took innumerable tooth picks for the years battling such filth. like many others, the lower two grew completely horizontal toward against the permanent tooth next to them, the upper one although vertical, was sharp like canine tooth which had been cutting the lower gum since it’s sprout.

enough have I decided after all these years of indetermination when the gaps were filled with germ which commenced slowly to rot the nearby. permanent removal was the only solution.

dentists are not hard to spot over this city, economical ones are near extinction just like any other medical services here. for a feasible and affordable cause, this land I used to visit regularly just north of this city was the only one I could recall.

like when I was young, train is the only and best transport that will take me straight to the place without interchanging vehicles in the process. thrice would I take this train every once a week, for the first time the two on the left, and the second the one on the right, and the last to remove the sutures.

concern was not avoidable regarding the service or product this land has to offer to her people, especially medical. yet luck was only in time for me to catch that the night before the operation a friend of mine also a friend of the doctor who got his own tooth unplugged sent his friend a note about another victim would be at the butcher room tomorrow – special care and discount would be very nice.

the pain was less than I was expecting when it came, but I sensed it was more painful for the doc to pull these damnable roots out of this god forsaken jaw of mine when even the nurse needed to pull together with him. both times took less than an hour, but the pain lasted for several more that only soft and cool foods were edible in the first few days. merely a week was enough to stop the pain and the bleeding, but the gigantic empty socket will take likely more than a month or two to be filled by new gum, despite within a month the doc said.

only regret was that I forgot literally totally to keep the first two tooth when the only thing in my mind was to get the hell out of that killing floor as soon as possible. the last one was just remembered when I by chance saw it on the plate.

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Fed up

job like the dream

flexible time

mostly casual work

operate alone

sometimes fucked up shit

untrustworthy boss

under average wage

unsystematic working process

a job that requires a mind to be multifaceted

highly prohibited to express yourself which deemed exaggeration

need to be careful to colleagues that want to slip burdens and responsibilities to you


thought I will stick in this firm for long, only now I want to get all the advantages and quit.

four months already got me woken up with headache, can’t imagine any longer.

although the beginning of one thing, already I can see the end of many others.

when I can’t keep my consciousness flowing for longer than ten minutes, legitimately I can’t stop the conscience of mine keep asking questions like what does this job bring but some little cash ample to resist starvation in MacDonald or KFC; with colleagues considering eating better than this extravagant, who’s paid better than me and stripped the right of choices by themselves at the age when they barely afforded fast food.

days are burning, I am drying.

wanna fuck this up once and for all, but what other shit will I do other than this?

when I am not asked to choose I know always how to.

clock is ticking and I don’t feeling like thinking.